Miss her badly

After 15 years, he came back. After wandering in the town aimlessly, he finally had the courage to ask someone about Miss Herbadly. The townspeople remembered him as a little boy so they directed the way to Miss Herbadly’s house. Of course, he still remembers where she lives. He just pretended that
he doesn’t, that’s all...

He would wait for her and together they would walk home from school every school day. They’ve spent a lot of time together and discussed literature. It was his favourite subject. To be able to see her every day, he prepared a picnic by the lake under the shady tree for her every Saturday...and church
every Sunday...hoping that one day she would come. Finally, she did, only once just right before he told her that his family is moving to another town which is less than 50km away.

“I’ll come and visit,” It bothered her when he said that. Her troubled face worried him. He understood how she felt and knew exactly what she was thinking. He lowered his head and without realizing he uttered, “If only you are willing to wait.” She was taken aback for a moment but she just shook her head slowly and said to him, “You will forget me.”  She walked away slowly. He stood there and watched as she disappeared from his sight.

As usual, they walked home together on a normal school days. As they were approaching her house she reached her house, he said to her, “I will never forget you.” She just smiled weakly and walked into the house. He left the house feeling dismayed.

Without realising, he reached the gate of her house. The house looked the same the last time he was there. He opened the white gate and walked along the stone path. He went up the stairs and rang the bell at the door. He waited for answers but there was no one home. Feeling a little disappointed and
relief at the same time, he sat on the couch at the patio. He started to imagine Miss Herbadly’s reaction if she saw him. After quite some time, he got up and left.  He walked to the lake where he used to wait for her every Saturday. As he was approaching the big tree, he saw a swing, which was not there before. The swing was tied to the big branch of the old tree. With little flowers of white on the vines, yellow, and peach in colour coiled down on the ropes of the swing, the view was indeed beautiful and a place one who live for retirement. On the swing, there sat a woman.
 

He walked towards the tree and wondered if she is Miss Herbadly. His heart was pounding tensely as her face became clearer. She stopped the swing and looked at him. The moment their eyes met. She smiled at him and immediately he felt like he was struck by a cupid. He felt embarrassed when she stared at him, at the same time, all the nostalgic feelings was flowing through his body. For a moment, he was not able to speak out and felt like he was the same 14-year-old boy who used to admire his teacher but he pulled himself together and he walked up to her and greeted her. 

This Herbadly resembled her...but it was not she.

Jackie Chan, my vampire.

Semalam Aku mimpi pelik lagi..this time Jackie Chan watak. ye..memang pelik. Hari tu, mimpi cari Kenny Sis punya gym nak jadi member. This time kerja kat gym pulak.

I remembered him walking in, which I think to be a gym where I worked. He tried all the equipment and were not satisfied. then he went to another section of the gym where (tak sangka) there was a cybe cafe. Then, he looked at me, pointing that he wanted a headphone that the kids are using.

So, I (no idea why) ran so fast to the counter to ask for one from the lady. But the lady memang jahanam sampai mau mampus. Buat tak nampak my muka yang (I rasa) nervous dan takut. I was so in a hurry that I almost wanted to screamed at her face but was worry that I might need favours from her in the future. So, I asked again. She looked at me dengan muka yang tak ada expression and eyeballed me before she's willing to find me the headphone. Service yang sangat slow sampai I want to cekik her. I was nervous because somehow my perasaan masa tu macam..betul-betul tak boleh lambat kalau Jackie Chan mau barang.

PB: Headphone?

I: Yes

PB: For who?

I: For Jackie Chan

PB: Jackie Chan?

I: Yes, Jackie Chan. The Jackie Chan.

PB: Oh, here! then you must hurry.

I: Oh, yes. I must. Thanks for the help!

I ran to where JC was and handed over the headphone, which is different than the kids were using.

JC:How to put this on?

I: Oh..like this (as I adjust the band) This is the latest SONY headphone that we've purchased. You're our first customer to have used it.

JC: (oh...best...I"m the first)

I: Is this volume okay Mr. Chan?

JC: (nodded his head)

Then he played Counter Strike...||-.- Yah..I know 

To b continued...was distracted gila babi...

Hah! Baru sekarang mau continue! Tau hari ini dah berapa haribulan? Ya, dah 28hb, bagitau wa bila lu taip benda kat atas tu? Ya..ya...dah 16 hari lu kasi postpone ini entri. But...kena salute also la..sebab sampai sekarang masih ingat apa  yang lu mimpi.

Okay, straight to the point. While playing CS, suddenly the lights went out. I was pulled into another room with a man drinking a potion and suddenly went nuts and aggressive. He jumped on me and wanted to bite me. This was when Jackie Chan came to the rescue.

So, together with a vampire (yang tak tau datang dari mana), we ran out the gym and we ran and we ran along Pujut-Lutong road.
Oh, Jackie Chan is also a vampire. The "thing" were chasing me for my blood, so was a bit pelik that these two vampire don't suck my blood. Ada poison ka? Maybe the fake vamps need my blood to whitened their teeth?

Well, it's like this. There were two types of vampires. One, is the real vampire, Jackie Chan and the other one. The other type is the type yang minum certain potion and jadi vampire. It's easy to differentiate the ori vamps and vampire cetak rompak. Just tengok the gigi. Vampire cetak rompak gigi dia hitam berkilat macam black pearl.


Yes, I know it doesn't make any sense. 


While on the run, we stopped by at a house where there lived this gypsy vampire yang I don't know berapa ratus tahun umur dia. Fortune telling about my blood, destiny aku bla bla bla, la apa lagi? That house kat Pujut 2 tepi jalan besar. I remembered ada potteries, water fountain..macam di spa. So after the whatever prophecy, Jackie Chan and the other vampire escorted me out from the house. We jalan kaki...kena kejar tapi jalan kaki. Tau ke mana? Ke bus stop...(unbelievable). An old woman approached us, but my vampire jumped on her to check if dia bergigi hitam...then...

"AH FIO!! Ngee han mang hong aa??"

I terus...potong stim...sebab transmission dah terputus...

Tuala Kuala Lumpur

In the train...

*Perhatian: Sila baca perbualan di bawah dengan slang cina yang pekat.

Kid: Mami, how to s-p-a-ou KL Tower?

Mum: K A-ou Tawe aa?

Kid: Mmm..

Mum: (dengan bangganya, she said it aloud) You lipit after me. I say what you follow me, okay?

Kid: Ok.

Mum: Kayy...

Kid: Kayy...

Mum: A-ou..

Kid: Al...

Mum: T...

Kid: T...

Mum: Ouuu...

Kid: Oh...

Mum: Dabel liu

Kid: Double liew.

Mum: Eee...

Kid: Eee...

Mum: A-ou..

Kid: Al...

Mum: Kayy A-ou T Ouuu Dabel liu Eee A-ler, KL Towel.

Kid: Kayy Al T Oh Double liew Eee Al, KL Towel.

Mum: Vely good. (looked happy because her son can spell vely well)

Kid: (jumped happily)

I: (dalam hati) kesiannya budak nih...diperbodohkan oleh mak dia pun tak tau.

Penumpang lain pun...toleh (dengan muka terkejut) when they heard the last alphabet "A-ou"

I listened and looked at her expression (yang over bangga with her KL Towel) with disbelief...and she eyeballed me with a snobbish look. 

Hai...Iya, saya tau kamu pandai ajar anak kamu salah eja. Memang susah bagi saya untuk ajar benda yang salah dan buat muka bangga dengan kesalahan yang dibuat tu. 

Seriously, I salute her. I can't even spell and pronounce KL Tower wrongly. Hebat! 

Can you? Of course not. 

Itulah sebabnya...frasa seperti "sombong bodoh" tu wujud...

Hai...konfiden sangat yang dia eja betul...kesian...but I pity the son...mesti kena gelak kat sekolah...

Cerita di atas adalah kisah benar dan bukan rekaan semata-mata dan memang berkaitan dengan mereka yang tak tahu sama ada masih hidup ataupun telah meninggal dunia.

Tigrrr...is afraid of 漏水

Today is the 3rd day of Chinese New Year. No red packets received because grandpapa passed away not long ago. So, First day of Chinese New Year...was a blast at my aunt's housing area. A time when people could not even hear each other talk even when they are just 1 meter away from one another? I told you, it was a blast.

All the kids are so happy, Blasting all night long.

Happily they lit the rocket! Shouting all night long.

and a blast blast here...blast blast there.

here blast there blast everywhere blast blast...

After that my eyes are sore...huha..huha..Loooh!

Oh...please think of the nursery rhyme Old McDonald's when you sing the song above. I think the Stanley Ipkiss would suddenly appear with his mask on saying: "Smokeeeyyynn!"

Oh...whatever with the smoke..I hate smoke..it's hard to breathe...I couldn't open my eyes wide enough to watch beautiful men on the tele. What a waste...

So, I have found out what tiger is afraid of...this is actually children's fable or story...or whatever. I heard this from my uncle this afternoon and it goes like this...

Once upon a time, there lived an old couple in an old cottage in the village. All they have was their goat. So, one windy night. the old lady said to the old man, "Let's bring the goat in. I heard a tiger has gobbled up Mr. XXX's sheep the other night." The old man replied, "Bahh! Tiger. What is there to be afraid of?" At that moment, Mr. Tiger is just outside preying on the goat when he heard the old man said that...

Tiger: (thinking) nothing to be afraid of?

Tiger continues eavesdropping.

OW: Oh...What are you saying?

OM: I'm saying, there's nothing to be afraid of.

OW: Why?

OM: Because tigers are afraid of...

It started to rain heavily, there were lightning and thunder and water started to leak from the roof...the lights went out. So it was very dark. So dark that the old couple could not see each other. The water drop on the old man's head.

OM: 漏水!

OW: (thinks) Oh...tigers are afraid of 漏水...

Tiger: 漏水? What is that? Is it scary? I'm supposed to be afraid of 漏水?

Apparently, the tiger was not the only one who was eyeing on the goat. There was a thief in a black raincoat with a hood over his head. The thief walked so quietly that neither the tiger nor the thief know that there was somebody else in the dark. The thief has a rope in his hands preparing to put it around the goat's neck As the tiger wonders what is 漏水, the thief puts the rope around its neck and drag it slowly in the dark...and the tiger...according to my uncle...misunderstood 漏水 with it being dragged in the dark (actually by the thief as it was dark) the tiger could not even see a thing, so the tiger was terrified.

漏水:water leaking.

But according to my mom, she says, tigers are afraid of "belian" wood because if tigers accidentally pricked by a "belian" wood, their wounds will worsen. That's why there is no tigers in Sarawak...except in the zoos of course. Hohoh..

Monologku: I know it's a crappy entry.

Pancit already...

Oh...everyone will have their first time to be in this kind of situation. Emergency that is! When no one is around to lend a hand. No worries, the next time I see them by the road side with a puncture...I'll pretend I didn't see them.

Oh yes! Touch down Meeleee...and a flat tyre! Great! actually, I was the one who noticed the flat tyre at the mall. Arghh...with my brains and my brother's strength...We changed the flat tyre with the spare. Kawan-kawan sekalian, please prepare yourself with the knowledge of  changing a flat tyre. If it's your first time...pandai baca kan? Jadi bacalah manual. Ada ajar bah tu...ada gambar sekali..usah bimbang ye?

 

My brother, asking to take pictures of him...

I know how to change the tyre already. Dulu secara teori now, praktikal..ahh..no problem. Keta apa pun boleh asalkan bukan lori. Ahakss..tyre too berat.

So, the next time you have a flat tyre? Call me. No hal bebeh!
*depends on your location la...ngok.

Buffing in MBO

At Spring, Kuching...Yes, I know..I don't know where else to go.

I: ???!!!. How much is that?

C: Oh, wait moment. Let me scan.

I: (dalam hati) What the hell..All 3 for 44.70??

C: It's RM33.50.

I: Oh...Okay. Here.

went out from the store...

I: What the f@#$!, 30plus for something like this??

B: Hahaha! 

I: Can I kill myself now? Urghh!! Should have gone to Elianto.

B: What is Elianto...

reached Elianto..

B: Oh...jual benda macam ni jugak. I think ada jual the same thing la...

I: I don't want to know.

B: Let's check how much is it.

I: Bab! I don't want to know how much they are selling it!

B: Haaha..oh...it's here...let me check the price..

I: Bab..please la..

B: Aiya..mana tau the 30plus one better than this one...

I: Still...sakit...

B: Hahaha...

I: Nevermind..I'll make sure to use it for a veryyy long time.

B: Hahahah

I: I'll do it in when we watch movie later.

B: Serious ka?

I: Yes..

So, in the theater...I took it out...and start my work...but...

I: I think I'll eat the popcorn and the snacks first then I buat.

B: I like that idea...Idea yang bagus.

Munch...munch...then...

 

manicar'ing' in the cinema..while watching movie...

Well, this manicare is a 4 way buffer. It shapes, buffs and shines natural nails. It has an easy to follow number system. At the back, is the instruction...

Before buffing your nails...please ensure that your nails are clean, dry and free from polish.

Step 1: File Nail (Green)

•  File from the side of the nails to the center nails in even strokes.
• Always file in one direction, never back and forth.

Step 2: Remove Ridges (Purple)

• Use in light circular motion to smooth away ridges and stains.

Step 3: Buff & Smooth (White)

• Buff the nail in a back-and-forth  motion to create a satin finish.

Step 4: Polish & Shine (Grey)

• Buff with rapid sideward strokes to achieve super natural shine.

To maintain fabulous shine, use;

Purple: Monthly

White: Weekly

Grey: Daily

 Yeah, just because it's a 4 way buffer, it's more expensive..I get it now! No, I was being sarcastic. Ah...there's a hole in my heart. Is it even worth it? T.T

Hanky Panky...no more?

Arhh! I dreamt of castration...probably because of the email forwarded to me by my uncle. Arhh...there is a picture of a eunuch..I do not know if it is considered a nightmare.So, I have this habit of going to Dream Dictionary and find out what these symbols mean. The reason I do this was because, I dream a LOT. A lot and weird that I could actually write short story out of them!

So, the dream meant

 To dream of a castration, signifies your overwhelming fears that you have lost your virility or feelings of sexual pressure. Alternatively, it represents a lack of creativity, power or strength.

 So...what does that mean? I kehilangan my macho"ness"??

Let's get naked on Valentine's Day.

Oh...now you got that wrong...No, seriously...

So, after texting one another, we ended up at the movies. We were rushing to watch Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief but there were no seats left. SO...we watched Valentine's Day. Yes, not the kind of movie we would watch. But, no choice and it turned out okay because of Q. Latifah, Jess Biel and Jenn Garner and the beautiful men. It's a romantic comedy, what do you expect? 

Jessica Alba is still hot by the way.

Funny but somehow make one feel how incomplete one's life is after watching it. Alooo..it's a movie...created by people with the ability to really understand human's weaknesses. I was one of these people who was influenced by movies like this. You see, I'm a Sagittarius. That explains so I do not have to do it here. 

I was stressed after watching that movie, should we really marry our own best friend (of the opposite sex)? Wouldn't that be awkward? It's not the first character that Jennifer Garner hooking up with her best friend in a movie. Remember "13 going to 30"? How I love the "Thriller" dance. It was cool. Yes, I know dah lari dari topik.

Anyways, back to the title. Those were the only words I can still remember clearly after the movie ends. The rest only vividly... Ah..aku tau aku pervert..always think about things that involves nudity. It's catchy wat...if you watched the movie, you'll understand.

It's the same thing as remembering being corrected when you did/said something wrong. Sama la this case.

Anyways...If you're single/plural and not happy with your love life...don't go loco after you watch it.

Iyerrr...I know..giler takda life..entah berapa kali nak update blog dalam satu hari. Sebenarnya macam ni,

I: Haha! Iya, mau tengok wayang jugak. Tengok beautiful man. blade something but that wan cerita cina. 

B: Ah...13 blade.

I: 13 or 14 

B: 13 la...

I: Oh, yaka? 

B: I think so..If im not mistaken lah..I tgk d preview waktu beratur beli popcorn..

I: It's 14 la 

B: How do u kno?

I: Sebab petang tadi dah tengok and now tengok page mbo. 

B:Owh.. U oredi saw tha movie lah..

I: No. I check showtime online. 

B: Owh..Nasib bail I tak ajak u bet either 13 or 14 td. U pakai cheat code.

I: Ah..nasib baik. 

B: Baik la sangat.. If reli nasib baik.. i oredi jd billionaire sekarang. Hahaha..

I: Ahh..tak mungkin. Sebab u bg jawapan yang salah. 

B: Cheese burger btol la u..

I: Oh..patutla disukai ramai. huahhuahhuah!! 

B: Ah..I tak suka cheese..I kan seorang yg jaga pemakanan utk mementenkan 6 pack I.

I: Arh.penipu. 

B:(sila baca dgn nada  serious) fio..Dalam dunia ni, only two person yg I takkan tipu. My mom dgn u saja u know?

I: Jadi, maksud lu. Masa lu bilang lu suka cheese. Lu tipu gue?Bajingan!

Demikianlah perbualan melalui SMS pada hari ini yang tak tahu ending dia ke mana.

Bau sangat ke Bau?

Tasik Biru, Bau (Blue Lake)

It is said that this lake contains Arsenic.

After the trip to Jong Crocodile's Farm, I paid Blue Lake, Wind Cave and Fairy Cave a visit. To me, these were just another landmark for sight-seeing until today...because there was no tour guide to explain any historical facts of these places.

This entry is not about the lake but the place where the lake is situated. 

Bau

Remember the short story written by Helen Munan, How Dalat got its name? Well, this entry is almost similar to that short story.

I hung out with a former classmate of mine (Ah Tu) today and told him the places I've visited last weekend. Then, he told me that there is a story how Bau got its name. The story was told by a few locals from Bau. (since a few of the locals said the same thing then Ah Tu would not have made the story up right?)

According to them, there is a cave in Bau, which is not opened to public. It is called the Ghost Cave. It was said in the 1800s during the reign of Sir James Brooke ,something had happened...

Reason:Retalliate towards SJB's army.

The retaliation started because SJB wanted the gold mine in that area. However, the retaliation turned out to be a massacre in the end.

What the villagers did not know was, SJB sent a second troop to seize the gold mine. They lost the fight and fled to a cave, this was where SJB's troop closed up the cave, trapped them and burnt the villagers alive! (Probably only badly burnt but not "well done" -God bless their souls. Ahh!!what am I saying? Not supposed to talk about the dead like that!) 

It was said that nobody went into the cave to retrieve and bury the bodies properly. So, after a while the odor from the cave was so bad that they called that area Bau (in English: Smelly, stink, foul smell-you name it)

In the 1900s, there were more massacres during the Japanese Occupation. Locals who did not co-operate were buried alive in the ground by the Japanese soldiers. So, you know what happened..Yes...stinky stinky after a while. Therefore, I guess it fits to be called Bau after all.

Okay, back to the local villagers who died in the cave...

The reason the locals lost the second attack from SJB:

Let me ask you this, have you ever experience when you arrive in a place where everyone just look the same? 


Korean: Me walk..
I: Walk carefully..jangan jatuh longkang...
Korean: Bo?
I: Nothing..enjoy your trip.
Korean: Tenk q. Ba bai!


After a while...

Japanese: Aa...halo..halo..koko wa doko no eki desu ka? 
I: aa? (turned around)
I: Eh! You datang balik?
Japanese: nani?
Friend: (looked at I) Bodoh la u this. Sumimasen...this orang bodoh..tak tau ckp Japanese. Lala Station desu ka... 
Japanese: Ahh!Ok..ok! Takushi?
Friend: Ha? Takeshi? Takeshi Kaneishiro?
Japanese: No..no...Tuckshi...(using body language tengah driving, keluarkan dompet)
Friend: Oh!! Haha.. Taxi?
Japanese (nodding happily, dalam hati :tak sangka that also works) Hai!
Friend: (takut terkantoi tak pandai cakap Japanese, called a taxi for the tourist). Taxi, on the way.
Japanese: Fank you. Babai
Friend: Your welcome. Come again!


I: Bukan dia yang datang tadi tu ka?
Friend: Bodoh, bukanlah! Saya tau muka cina memang sama rupa dia.Tadi tu, pakaian tak sama. Pandai-pandai la sikit. Kena pecat kang!
I: Oh..pandai la kau ni..
Friend: Hehe..Saya tau..(as hidung dia semakin kembang)


After a while...a gentleman with the same Hawaiian shirt as the Japanese was wearing came to the counter...


Friend:Eh, you again?
G: ???


Cerita di atas cuma rekaan semata-mata, Tiada kaitan dengan yang hidup dan yang telah mati ya.

Before I start learning about other people's cultures, whenever I look at Malays- esp ladies with head scarfs, anyone with Asian look, you know-Asian look with muka cina? They look the same to me although they are different. Now, I can differentiate already la..esp the Koreans, Japanese, Chinese..

But for the Blacks..and Malay ladies we see everywhere with headscarf, minah/rempits..I'm still getting on it. Give me time! Please la, when you look at me and my friends, we also look alike what. Don't condemn me la. I know it happens to everyone. 

Ahh..lari dari topik lagi...So, 

When the locals saw Englishmen,they attacked and won the fight. They've killed a few whites or a lot of them or the whole troop..I have no idea..

Local A: Yahh!! Itu SJB dah mati! Victory!!!!

Local B: Let's party!!

So, they thought SJB was dead but while partying SJB sent a second troop. So, you know what happened after that la.

According to the locals, the bones are still in the cave. And why is it called the Ghost Cave?

Because it's haunted la...duh..

Monologku: I tau...potong stim..

Benda nostalgic...ter...

On the way to the opposite of Kuching Waterfront...

B: I always quarrel with my grandad.

I: Why la?

B: Because he favour my 3rd brother.

I: oh...but why la?

B: Because I pernah patahkan his hand. Mana tidak, we main gusti. We main-main tiba-tiba...crraaackk...the tangan patah.

I: Hah??patah? hahahahah!!!!

Flash back...

B: Bunyi apa tu?

Adik 3: It's my tangan...

B: ha? patah sudah?

Adik satu lagi: tak sakit ka? why you macam biasa only?

Adik 3: Sebab I masih lagi terkejut.

Present

I: Ahahahah!! 

B: My datuk and I also selalu main ludah-ludah.

I: main ludah-ludah? How old were you masa tu?

B: Masih kecik lagi belum sekolah masa tu.

I: Oh...main-main with you only kot.

B: We bertanding meludah-ludah, you know? But of course he menang la..dia kat atas, i kat bawah. but still, I mau ludah sebab tak mau kalah.

I: hahaha!! Apalah...

We reached the the opposite of the waterfront where, Nizam, Nonie and Bab were stranded because the Boatman...didn't return to pick them up and the car was across the river. Nice!

So, in the end, Bab had to swim across...hahah..tidak la..sebenarnya dia membiarkan dirinya terapung-apung dan dihanyut ke seberang sungai. Dia tak larat nak berenang ke seberang. Nanti dia akan complain..perut dia dah tak sasa lagi. Takde la..lawak je. Takkan la betul-betul tunggu Bab dihanyut oleh arus sungai tu kan? Tak logik la. Bab takkan marah kalau dia baca this entry..mesti dia ketawa terbahak-bahak sampai berguling-guling atas lantai.

Jadi, inilah objektif Bab bawa saya ke tempat ini. Sebenarnya I yang minta dia bawa. Ambil gambar cantik adalah hobi saya..LOL.

It's the view of the Waterfront Kuching from the other side...

It's not what you think it is...

A couple of parasites are hanging out on Lala's skin.

Parasite A: Hiyahh! Lai (in mandarin)..we enter this body! The bulu roma pisses me off!

Parasite B: Oh...okay..berbulu pulak this thing.

Parasite A: Let's see what damage can we do in this body. Maybe we makan the urat of the hair so that dia botak! Huah..huah..huah!

Suddenly...They felt they're getting bigger..and fell off Lala's body. Hey, what do you know? Lala took the shrinking paste from the Toothfairy!

Lala: Hoih! Don't enter my body!

Parasite A: ha..?who is this fella? pelik betul rupa dia nih.

Parasite B: eh, I think it's the host we mau masuk tadi.

Parasite A: How you know?

Parasite B: I can smell the poo. See the poo on the kaki, that's mine (dengan bangganya). Kesian this binatang, ada ta-ik kat kaki pun tak perasan.

Lala: Cheelaka punya parasit! Buang besar merata-rata! Wa cakap sama lu ta-ik. Jangan masuk badan wa! (as Lala gets rid of the feces from his leg)

Parasite A: Ahh! suka hati gua lah! bukannya lu boleh nampak pun.

Lala: Wa cakap tak boleh means tak boleh!

Parasite B: Okay, okaay..Chill..chill.Gua janji gua masuk senyap-senyap. Wa promise, tak sakit punya. Wa cuma nak lepak di dalam badan lu. nak tengok kalau ada awek cun dalam badan lu dan bawa dia keluar dating. Itu saja...

Lala: Ahh! Wa tak percaya sama lu.

Parasite A: betul la..tak tipu..

Lala: Wa cakap tak boleh means tak boleh la!

Parasite B: aiseh...degil betul binatang ni.

Then, the effect of the shrinking paste is gone. Lala went back to his normal size. Lala took the shrinking paste again...as he shrinks, he felt pain! A lot of pain like he is going to explode then everything went blank...

Of course la went blank. Parasite A and B dah masuk his badan, bila dia shrink mesti la badan dia explode. Ada 2 parasit dalam badan..imagine having 2 people in your body?

Parasites nowadays dah tau manusia ada shrinking paste to shrink themeselves so they cari tempat lain untuk lepak to avoid the incident above. The death of Lala and Parasite A and B had to find another host...susah sebab they have to crawl cari best of the host. So, this time they lepak in food..and water...Most of us including me..are not wary about what is in the food we eat..as long as it is delicious..

Demikianlah hikayat perjumpaan parasit dan binatang

Pneumonia

If you think shortness of breath, a sharp pain in your chest, headaches, joint pains or muscle aches is normal and telling yourself that you're just getting older and will take up exercise to keep up with a healthier lifestyle. Please consult your doctor first before you put yourself in danger. For ladies, just because you feel nauseous, loss of appetite, tired and vomiting do not mean that you're pregnant.

What I'm trying to say here is that, someone I know has passed away after two dreadful weeks in the ICU because of Pneumonia. It is not the first time I heard of it. I was 15 when I first heard the word because someone from my school passed away after one night battling in ICU.I was spooked by it.

Pneumonia is like a cunning, silent killer. Why? It is because, the one I have mentioned above are (only some of) the symptoms if you are suffering from Pneumonia. Scary right? So, exactly what is it anyway? It's the inflammatory of the lung caused by virus (airborne), bacteria (airborne), fungi (uncommon), or parasites (through skin or swallowed), chemical (smoking) or personal injuries. Other than smoking, do you think we can control the rest of the contagion mentioned above?

Don't trust X-rays 100% when you go for one to screen for Pneumonia because it can be diagnosed wrongly. Go for a CT scan instead.

Monkey lebih menakutkan daripada buaya? Ahh..tipu...

Jong's Crocodile Farm

Isn't he/she a beauty?

Jong's crocs were where we went yesterday. We certainly made a few U-turns because ada orang sesat and insisting that I was the one was distracted..hahah!

The Jong's Crocodile Farm is located 29km from Kuching City Center. It opens 9am to 5pm daily. They asked for MyKad to see if we're locals, and paid her RM10 for each ticket. The price vary for students, senior citizen, children and if you're from another states...the price is more expensive. Was it RM12 or RM16? Oh..dear..I don't remember.

It was feeding time at 3pm and I managed to take a short video of it but walked away in less than 10minutes..in search of more crocodiles in Jong's Crocodile Farm...and...we saw wild boars...and a goat...(food for the crocs?) and walked into a more isolated place...

Do you know that, the spookiest place in the farm is not where the crocs are but...where the monkeys are at? It is pretty deep and quite isolated from the rest of the animals in the farm...you can feel the chill running down your spine. It was spookier when you read the sign that says... "Beware. The monkey bites". Now our imagination started to run wild...

I: Bab..so scary here.
B: Yalah...so pedalaman here...so jauh inside...
I: The monkey bites...(as I read the sign)

Looking for monkeys...in the cage.

I: Shit! Bab! Where's the monkey??
B: What? What? (looking into the empty cage..)
I: The monkey bites...you think the monkey got out from the cage bab?bah..later gigit you bab.
B: I don't know where is the monkey. Yes, because I'm too beautiful.

I: (bulu roma start to berdiri) arhh...jalan bab..jalan...we go that side.
B: ok..ok...eh..the monkey punya cage dekat sinilah..not that one.
I: ah..nasib baik or else..mesti kena gigit.

Monkeys..buat muka kesian..then...start to howl...

I: we go there bab..scary..siang siang like this also scary..(dlm hati: excuse me..excuse me..tumpang lalu ya?)
B: eee..chilaka...itu munyit...cara dia bunyi macam.."Fio...ada hantu behind you.."
I: Cheelakaa kau bab! (dlm hati: excuse us..excuse us..dia bukan sengaja tu..don't follow us home ya?)
B: Eh..look at the crocodile..


I: eh..what happen? kesiannya...
B: take their photo tengah dating..
I: Ok..kesian la..this croc..what happened to it la..?
B: Mesti masa dia kecik dia nakal bah..
I: (tanpa was-was I terpedaya selama 10 saat) Oh...Yaka? (then fikir secara logik...) Ish..Tipu la you bab!
B: ahaahaa...who ask you to believe me?
I: nanti hopefully Pak Indon dah tukar posisi la later when we jalan balik nanti.
B: so big the buaya. almost 50 years old already that buaya. ppl bawa him from indon when he was 3 years old.
I: Yala..so big la Pak Indon..(nampak jinak) ||-_- heee...

This is Pak Indon, he is 47 years old. In 1963, he was brought into Sarawak by an Indonesian trader when he was 3 years old.

Pak Indon change his position...but...T.T tak nampak also the face...but he is really huge! I was standing more than 3 meters away from him when I took the picture above.

Tak boleh Fuyohh bila kebakaran?

Today is the day...nah..actually before the clock stroked midnight...Bab and I were wandering on the road...looking for the name of a bar or bistro or pub, which can be found on a Monopoly board and in Europe or maybe some other parts of the world that we do not know of. "Piccadilly"

Yeah, we went the wrong way...the wrong lane...made a few U-turns here and there.

As we were searching...tiba-tiba jam...

I: Ahh...celaka bab! ada accident ka? why got meemo meemo? eh kebakaran!

B: oh, shit! The temple ka? Ahh..celaka punya orang. Bakar masjid and gereja now bakar tokong cina. bodoh punya orang!

I: Fuyoohh bab! See the asap so tebal! U rasa ada orang mati ka in that fire? Harap-harap takda la kan?

B: What la you this...sepatutnya ppl komen dgn belas kasihan like "aduh..sedihnya...kebakaran.." bukannya "fuyohhh". Oh..nasib baik bukan the temple on fire. You see the asap so tebal, sure got people stuck there. The guard.....mmmr...mrrrmm

I: no la...that only normal ppl will say.

I: Wuahh!!!Bab! See the fire!

B: u-wey..u-wey..? (where..where?)

I: there belakang tu..

B: Oh...they block the road..shiiit...we go that way..

I: Wah...so many people..

B: Yalah..Malaysia people very penyibuk.

I & B: hahahah!!

B: ish! what is that car doing? jalanlah!

Then we went round round round round round Kuching...and sesat sekejap in a few places where Bab and his friends always hang out...of course yang tak sesuai for me to go..I don't know why. I like chicks too... XD

Aku Tau...gila takda life.

I am an asshole for dragging a good friend of mine to watch two movies in a row on the same night at the same cinema. I know he is tired and is going to be physically fatigue for as long as I'm here. I feel sorry for him because I would definitely go to the max if he's not working during the day. I would drag him to watch the earliest show til late at night. That is how desperate I am now.

I just need to get out from the house, which is closing me in and making me meaner as the days passed. My patience is just wearing thin.

Reason? I cannot have my own life at this moment.

Get a life? Not in this situation dearies.

When one is in this kind of situation for a period of time, they'll become mean and sarcastic.
When life is pushing you to the edge, a place where you do not want to go, you'll bear with it at first, then you'll whine, then you'll complain then you become mean and grumpy and sarcastic and worst of all, you won't be happy with your life.
When you're not happy, things will not go well because negative feelings attract negative things.

I just don't want to be that although I know I'm heading towards that way.
So, I have to get out to chill but...I really pity my friend, Bab.

Sorry Bab, you're the only one I can turn to right now...

Not wanting these

I am a ball.

A ball, that one could kick.

Here and there...and here and there.

I would cry, "Stop...stop..stop..."

I am a puppet.

A puppet that anyone could control.

Up and down...and up and down.

I would say, "Stop...I'm dizzy."

I am spineless.

Someone without a backbone that allows life to push me around.

Hmm...

I would sigh, "This is life."

I am a tree.

A tree that anyone could chop.

Chainsaws and Axes...and Timber!

I would cry, "Why are you sacrificing me for the benefits of yours and others?"

Now that I am awake.

No one can stop me now.

Listen...and understand...

I would plead, "This is what I want."

Monologku: These are what you want, not what I want.

Telur Ikan - punca kematian di batu

Oh..How I like this picture. I wish I could split myself that many in a moment like this.

It was photoshoped by the fella himself. He was my student when I was doing my industrial training in his school. trying to get him to tutor me for free in photography. Hohoh!! He's quite talented and I am glad he is doing the things that he loves. At least, he is happy and passionate about the course he is doing at college. Anyways, this entry is not to promote the fortunate looking Shaffiq who is still single. But the "tangki" or "kolam" behind him that says, “Air batu Belah...”

Pekan: Nak makan! Nak makan!

Kakak: Tak boleh dik..kena simpan untuk mak.

Pekan: Wuaaa! nak jugak! Nak jugak!

Kakak: Baiklah..makan sikit je tau?

Pekan: Mmm..

Pekan telah habiskan telur ikan tu. Lepas tu, mak pun sampai...cari telur ikan.

Mak: Mana telur ikan mak?

Kakak: Pekan dah habiskan...

Mak: Apa?? Sampai hati korang tak simpan untuk mak. Anak yang derhaka! Aku pi mati sekarang jugak!

Kakak: Mak! Jangan mak! Jangan tinggalkan kami di sini.

Mak: Aku tak pedulik! I nak pi mati kat batu tu!

Pekan: (all he can do is cry)

Kakak: Mana tu mak?

Mak: tu....tu...kat atas tu ha. Tepi! Aku nak pi mati!

Mak merajuk tak makan terus nak..bunuh diri kat batu..( I go kill myself at the stone) ke mana logiknya? tak lawak ke?

Bukankah ibu sepatutnya sanggup berkorban demi anak-anak mereka? Ini pulak..bunuh diri sebab tak dapat makan telur ikan...bukan main bangang mak ni. Mak dulu-dulu memang macam tu ke?

Aish..tak tau la...

For the very first time...

Tiba-tiba I selongkar dompetku..dan nampak..benda yang remind me of something that had happened to me...for the very first time.

Dalam situasi begini..sila gunakan monolog ye..

I dengan muka risau..memandang muka N yang tak berapa confident-nya...menjalankan tugasnya...yang sepatutnya menenangkan perasaan orang...especially saya yang buat pertama kalinya melakukan perkara itu.

N: Eh..(tsk..tsk..tsk..) eh...apasal nih?
I: Adeh...nasib baik tak sakit..
N: Kenapa pulak nih..
I: Ahh...mati aku...sampai begitu sekali dia buat kat I??
N: Kena keluarkan lagi dan masukkan lagi ke? Ah...try je la..mana tau dapat ke..(tsk..tsk..tsk..)
I: Hoi! Apa yg kau nak buat ni??
N: Aik? Apasal tak dapat lagi ni..takpe..I cuba gerak-gerakkan benda ni..mesti dapat..
I: Habisla aku...diperkenakan oleh manusia yang jahanam nih! Wuaa!

Apa taknye? It was my first time donating blood. It was supposed to be a good one..not something that I dread and reluctant to do in the future. Benda yang bermakna tuu. Sampai hati nurse to buat I macam tu.

To make it clearer...Ahemhem..It was like this...
She was looking for my veins...and found it..then she inserted the needle but my blood wouldn’t flow out...so she moved the needle a little bit. She was stressed. So, she moved it harder...I looked at her with disbelief but I didn’t feel any pain. Then, she took it out and inserted it in again. Can you imagine how I felt? Again...there was no sight of blood flowing out. She moved the needle vigorously and this is no exaggeration, I repeat...no exaggeration. Finally..blood started flowing out..I was in shocked but came to my senses after a while.

Glad everything was over. But that’s not the end..My right hand was purplish in colour. All the way to my wrist.

I was in school when...

Ss: Eh,..Miss ***na, why your hand lidat? You go pek yao aa?
I: (pretend to be secretive and whispered to him)Oh..it was weird actually...I dreamt I was abducted by aliens last night..and when I woke up this morning..my hand is already like this..so weird...so weird..
Ss: Really??
I: No, I lied.

Senang betul kena tipu...
Oh...The nurse was from so and so hospital in Klang...

Later, I paint.

This is the third painting day, I painted something else this time. I painted the grill kat veranda.
Grandmummy datang..jadi mandur di "construction site" nak tengok apa yang "kuli" dia tengah buat...(aiseh man..just joking)

The conversation was in Hakka.

G: This berus- so small. You don't have a bigger one?
I: Mmmhmm..very small. The bigger one is at the back.

After a few minutes or so...

G: Try use this one.
I: mmm... Oh, later I paint (continue painting).

...Awkward silence...

G: Why this one so keras?
I: Aaa? Oh, QQ didn't wash properly (continue painting).

...Awkward silence...

G: Got hitam-hitam here.
I: Aaa? Oh, later I paint (continue painting).

...Awkward silence...

G: (pegang the besi) Aiya, still wet.
I: mmm...yaloh..have to wait until it dries then do the second coat (continue painting).

She walked away from the "construction site" so I continued painting peacefully...
After a while...She came with a brush.

G: Ah *i*, I wash the brush already. try and use this one.
I: Oh, later. I paint this one first (continue painting).

Used the brush to paint..looked up at mandurku yang comel.

I: The brush lao ya already la Po. Hard to paint the smaller ones.

She took the brush and painted.

G: heh lo! aiya. *eh...not bad...ada feeling pegang berus ni...eh..cat benda ni pun mcm best...

Tiba-tiba Grandmummy nak cat semua benda. Ada rasa macam artist.

Haha. Takde la..gurau je. Grandmummy memang ada cat. Mungkin dia nak tolong nak ringankan beban sebab kesian kat I yang sibuk mengecat dari hari tu...

I appreciated her help...although I have to re-paint it...haa... ||-_-

Going to paint pintu besi esok..

Kerja yang Best.

Updating blog two days in a row. Giler obvious sangat free takde apa-apa nak buat. Maklumlah kan tengah cuti rehat. So, update la blog neh. To share a piece of my mind.

Sebenarnya, I dah start cuti officially dari July 2009. Mesti korang tengah fikir kerja apa yang best sangat ni? boleh cuti sampai begitu panjang sekali?

Mali...mali...wa kasi lu tau kerja apa yang best itu ya?

I ni, petani sebenarnya..bercucuk tanam di mana-mana yang I rasa yang I boleh hidup. I tengah tanam anggur neh! Anggur yang takde dan takkan ada hasilnye sampai bila-bila, sehingga di akhirat pun tarak. haiz...

So, untuk mengelakkan diriku yang lemah ini daripada dijajah musuh utamaku -depression, I'll just pretend that I'm on a holiday for now.

Monologku: Think dear, think...

Hani Tarmizi, yang famous semakin famous.

I know it's very old but still I don't know how many of you noticed that she in NST's Tech&U's Google's Top 10 searches in Malaysia (Week: Jan 22-29, 2010). Jeng! Jeng! Jeng! She ranked #2.

Yes, #2! I don't know about last week as I didn't read the NST the whole week.

It is common that certain people has their own fan page. But this pretty chick who's from the northern region of Malaysia has -a hate page. Yes, my darlings a Hate Page in Facebook. Some of the things that no one wishes to happily have. Oh my, now that is certainly a way to be popular.

Make people hate you

Yes, teacher. I'll take note of that.

Yes, I was a Fan of that hate page..just to find out what is it about because human are curious beings (not that I hate her, just hate the statement that she has made because that would include me as well) Anyways! I removed myself after I read the comments etc etc..

The issue was forgotten until I read the papers la today...

According to a source (ju***won**) (obvious giler tgh mengumpat neh), the admins of Facebook has removed the hate page because it does more harm than good. Apparently, another page has been created, which I don't plan to visit.

Some of you must be wondering what is this all about...


Let me tell you the story of a girl who insulted female Sarawakians (I assumed of all ages as she mentioned "Perempuan Sarawak") as sluts and bitches who live in the jungle.

Apparently, her ex-boyfriend/boyfriend was/is seeing a Sarawakian girl therefore provoked her to explode.

And with the help of her sidekick who tambah minyak and kipas api tu kaww kaww supaya api menjadi semakin marak yang semarak-maraknya yang tak boleh dimarakkan lagi (yes, I'm exaggerating, there's no fire involved) and supported her statement with supporting details (another cerita of someone else yg berkaitan dgn perempuan sarawak merebut suami orang etc etc). Terang-benderang selalu mengumpat.

Hani my dear, this sidekick of yours...will destroy you...find another friend to give you proper support and encouragement.

Well, I think by creating the hate page had a big joke played on Sarawakians who give their comments in the hate page. What is the difference between you and the sidekick? 2 kali 5!

So easily provoked and influenced. Jadi bahan ketawa orang lain pun tak tau.

*All of you are above 18, young adults who have your own thoughts.Think of the damage that could have happen. Or are you only 14 and using Facebook illegally?